I have decided that my profile needed a bit of an update, so I updated my profile, and I'm now a woman who speaks German, ( oder Deutchs, pour vous, meinen freunde) I've also lost a few years, and it's got nothing to do with drink or drugs. I just changed my date of birth, or should I say "Mein Geburtsdatum?" Ja? Das ist Gutt, mein freund. When I speak in German ( Deutsch) I don't have an accent, I spreche Deutsch ( speak German) with a German accent. So if I can do that, why can't Antlady69, and her Deutsch Freunde, not blog in English without a German accent? Yeah, answer that one AL. I'll just do that in my superb German accent. Nein, ich won't bother.
Ich don't wanna confuse meine freunde from Deutschland oder anywhere else.
Maybe I should start teaching languages on my weblog postings? I could even include Scots Gaelic ( pronounced Gallic, like garlic, but with a silent "r", unlike Irish Gaelic which is pronounced Gay Lick. lesson 1 over with) maybe, just maybe, I could learn English first, but hey here's the 1st lesson. Meine name ist Not. ( My name is Not) Mon de plumes est Nicht, that's it in Freutschaise.
Oh since I'm now a girl, if any guy out there wants a shag, then I'm open all hours. Oh if any girls want to join in, you're more than welcome. You see, that's how women should be, just as accommadating as myself, now that I'm a virtual women.
Right gotta go and get rid of all the excess body hair, and do some womanny things, like sit down to do a pea, and if that toilet seat is left up, there will be big trouble. Cheers........

Good morning, well it's not too bad a morning here, although it is still dark, well outside it's dark, in the house we have lights, that shed light on things, great invention, that electrickery is. Well we've got mice, I dunno if it's a single mouse or a family of mice, Herself seems to think that it's a family of mice. We used to have those sonic plug-in things that drive out the mice and cockroaches ( we don't have any cockroaches, but if you do, they're better boiled in salt water, then deep fried, with a little hollandaise sauce added after, but each to their own) but I threw them in the bin, once we discovered mouse droppings right underneath one of them. Herself set a trap, although I had to, carefully put it into position ( I don't set traps, I have the shakey-dans, as I like to keep my fingers in tact) and check to see if there is anything in the trap each morning. Yesterday the trap had gone off, the bait was missing, but there was no mouse to be seen, maybe these mice have been watching too much Tom & Jerry, or maybe they've escaped from the lab. in a college/university, and are very clever mice? Maybe, but maybe not.
I'm gonna see if there's some better sonic plug-in things, after I've done this. Some of them are quite expensive, but does that mean they work? I think that if I was to get one about a tenner right, and it worked for a bit, but the mice came back after a while, then well it was just a tenner, however if I paid £30 for one of those sonic-super-dooper plug-ins, and it didn't work very well then I'd be really pissed off, and curse and swear, and think the whole world was against me ( it sometimes is) then get so worked up about it all that I'm in bed for days. So I buy cheap ( it's really because I'm a tight old bastard, but the other explanation looks better yes?) and don't stress myself too much.
Well that's about it for this posting. The weather is very weathering today, and will be for the next few years ( that's long range weather forecasting for you) it just leaves me to thank you for coming here and reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. Have we learned anything today? Yes we have, lab. mice are cleverer than your ordinary mice, and can set off traps without getting killed in the process ( the bastards that they are)but I will get them, oh yes they won't beat me, the little shits that they are. And on that note, I'll end. Cheers folks..

Oh James of Lindow, please don't be a fool
Continue to blog, from your milking stool
Your comments sometimes make me sigh
But please believe me, I know that you try

Lindow, you are a popular blogger
Why? I do not know
Please keep on blogging
Let your juices flow
You're my favourite organic farmer
If you stopped I'd feel blue
So James of Lindow, what are you gonna do???

This weblog posting was brought to you by Notanotherblogger, and was blogged before a live living room audience. Thank you. Cheers..

This blogger doesn't post here anymore.

Thoughtful words before the end
A wave goodbye to all my friends
This blogger won't be posting anymore

Happy thoughts, before bye-bye
Catch falling stars before they die
This blogger doesn't post here anymore,

This means nothing to you
To know just what to do
But this is not much new
When I feel so blue, but can't get through

It's over, it's over, it's over.

All my dreams, pie in the sky
Start a post, then wonder why
I can't be chasing rainbows evermore

My sun has set after all
On the beach, the world seems so small
And yes it's true, pride comes before a fall

It's over, it's over, it's over, this time for sure

It's my daughters birthday today, she will be 12 years old going on 21. Kids grow up so fast ( they don't really, it just seems that way, well ,it does to me?) and if you've got little kiddies try to treasure every single moment that you have with them, because one day you will wake up, and their childhood will be gone. Always remember, that insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
Right then....---- Cake,
                            napkins, paper cups, straws, party hats, streamers, balloons, bread ( white thinly sliced) cheese, ham, sausage rolls, lemonade, orange juice ( the diluting type, and the fresh orange type) ice-cream, oh we'll need some chocolate for the chocolate fountain, and see if there's any strawberries, if not get grapes, and marshmallows, jelly babies, M&M's, jelly, trifle, kit-kats, a few packets of condoms ( well you can't be too careful now) some gummy bears ( just in case Antlady shows up, well she shows herself up quite a lot) pizza, chicken, sausages, some pies, a variety of pies, you better get some cottage cheese, beefburgers ( the good ones though, not the supermarkets own brand) mustard, brown sauce, tomato sauce, and while you're there, you better get some stuff in for the kids that are coming to the Birthday Party..... Go on then, get a move on. You don't expect me to get it, do you? Look the ferry never sailed yesterday, therefore the supermarkets shelves will be empty, well empty of all the stuff I want, bastards that they are, stealing my food. Ok better go and do my business, read the paper ( yesterdays news ) and have some brekkie. Cheers...

I dunno if I can be bothered doing a weblog posting today> I'll give it a few minutes, and maybe I'll get in the mood, or something will pop into my head to tell you. I'm farting away here like billy-o ( I dunno who/what/why/where billy-o is, I think my mother used to say "Billy-O" a lot, so maybe that's why I thought about billy-o?) We've got this fresh air wee machine thing, you gotta put drops of fragrance oils into it, and it makes the room smell nicer, or like a launderette, if you put the oils that came with it in. I stopped smoking a couple of years ago ( a wee note to Stevie-Boy, if I can do it, then so can you) and my sense of smell has been awakened from it's slumber, and I can smell everything, which granted, isn't always good, in fact it's mostly not good for me. A lot of smells give me headaches now. I still chew chewing gum ( sugar-free) and I did put on a few pounds, but what the heck, I wasn't enjoying the smoking, and having to smoke outside all the time, would have killed me.
It's pishing with rain here, well it was the last time that I looked, and the dog ( technically she's a bitch) looked out the back door, as I held it open for her to go out, then looked at me, with a look that could've said " Would you pee & shit in that weather? No? Well neither will I then" and trotted off back to her bed. Dogs, eh? You can't lead them to water, but you can't live without them to drink either.

I got this from hebburndelboy, it's a stupid test, and well I thought, might as well give it a go. Please do not judge me on this score, as most of my answers were guesses.

There you go then, what can I say? I can't remember what I scored, and I can't see the image ( it's alright, I haven't gone blind) because my IT skills are pretty crap. I think I scored low, which is good in this kinda test, or is it?
I had a peep at my score, and 35% stupid is better than most stupid people could get. Although I'm still not sure if it's a good or bad score, and really I don't care anymore, Cheers.....

I ate it on a sunday and my gut felt ill,
I do run run run, I do run run
Nobody told me that it was road-kill
I do run run run, I do run run
Yeah I got my fill
Yeah my gut felt ill
And when I sat on the Throne
It did run run run, I did run run
My arse was on fire when I tried to dry
I do run run run, I do run run
I thought that was it, but my oh why?
I do run run run, I do run run
Yeah I'm gonna cry
Oh why oh why?
And when I sat on the throne
I did run run run, I do run run
I've been sitting here for hours
And I'm doin' fine
I do run run run, I do run run
Sometime soon I'n gonna start to whine
I do run run run, I do run run
Yeah the smell's all mine
Yeah I'm gonna take my time
I do run run run, I do run run.

OH NO!!  With apologies to The Ronettes- I Do Ron Ron Ron.

Hi, it's wednesday today ( good start, knowing what day it is, I'll get the date right very shortly, although I may have to cheat, but you won't know that unless I tell you that I've cheated, but I ain't gonna cheat. Right last Thursday was Valentino's Day, which is the ............14th, right? friday's the 15th, saturday's the 16th, sunday's the 17th, monday's the 18th, tuesday's the 19th, therefore today is the 20th? Yes I got it right WAHOOOOOOO) So I was getting ready for my shower yesterday ( that time of the month again. Not that time of the month that ladeeze get, like I've not got the painters in, or anything)and was in a bit of a rush, which I don't do very well, I was getting my clothes ready that I was gonna wear, and was throwing them into the bathroom, from my bedroom ( it's only a metre or two between bathroom and bedroom, well within throwing distance) and the reason I was rushing was because I had been on the pan having a dump, and left having a shower until the smell had gone away. I grabbed my slippers and threw them into the bathroom, and I looked on in horror as one of my slippers went straight into the pan. I couldn't have done that if I'd been trying. Luckily enough I had flushed the toilet after having a dump, so my slipper wasn't covered in shit. I got into the shower and started washing my hair ( yep I've still got some, even at my age) then a bit of soap got into my eye, then as I tried to wash the soap out of my eye, more soap went up my nose, then in my mouth, and I was in a right friggin' mess. I couldn't open my eyes, because they were stinging, I was groping for the mouthwash, and as I got it I started to slip, so I grabbed onto the first thing that came to hand, the shower curtain, and I managed to pull it off, and the curtain was now lying on the floor, as I fell back, I must've touched the controls on the shower, and the water went icy cold AAAaahhhhh, I was friggin' freezing, but I still had the soap in my eye, up my nose, and was gargling mouthwash, but the coldness ( and the shock of the icy water hitting my body, could've given me a heart attack, but I'm stronger than that) of the water, and my screaming, meant that half the mouthwash poured out of my mouth, and I swallowed the other half.
I managed to get everything back together again, and started drying myself off, when my Boy wanted to use the loo, so I let him in, and he said " Do you know that you've still got soap in your hair?" So I had to get back in the shower, to wash the soap out of my hair, but this time I'd gotten my daughters swimming goggles and nose-clip on, and all was well once more in the household.
I've decided that showering is for people who are dirty, and I'm not dirty ( I can be a bit dirty in the sexual sense, like talking dirty, but we don't wanna go there just now) so I'll cut back on the showers to maybe one every two or three months, that should do me alright.
That's about it for another day. I'd like to thank you for coming here and reading this thing that I do, in this place that I do it in. Have we learned anything from this? Well yes I think we have. When showering, keep all your orifices closed, or taped up, or don't breathe in when soaping yourself. It's for your own good, you may die, but at least you won't get soap in your eyes/mouth/nose/ears.
That's it then Cheers...

How are you doing today? Alright? Yeah well, shit happens, it happens to me as well you know.  Right that's the niceties over with. I dunno what to tell you today? Oh, I emm, got my photo taken yesterday, for my passport. I haven't had a passport for about 25-ish or so years, but I just filled in the bit ( on the passport application form, well it's more like a book really) for a new passport, or first time passport application, it was so much easier. I never actually filled it in, my wife did ( Herself) when the forms arrived ( we need 4 passports, we somehow managed to have 2 chidren along the way) I looked at them, and the only bits I could fill in were my name and address, and I'm not sure if I'd have got that right, if I'd filled the form in. I lost my passport many years ago, well when I say lost, it was more taken off me, as I'd got stuck in Holland with no money and the Dutch police weren't wanting me to stay in Amsterdam ( I think they had enough nutters at the time) so I got shipped out, and on arriving back in good old Blighty, those lovely guys at customs kept my passport, until I'd repayed monies owed to whoever it was. There was only a year left on the bloody thing, so I wasn't too bothered, but I never did repay the money, nobody hounded me for it. So I'm just hoping that when we send our applications in, it'll all be alright. I can just act daft if they say anything, it's not exactly gonna be hard for me to act daft, I've had lots of practice at it ( a bit too much at times) and hey I'm sick I need help.
The photo's looked alright, but I just wouldn't like to meet the guy on my picture on a dark night, he looks a bit too scary, oh hang on there, that's me. I don't think that I'm quite as bad as Esspee like, but when they were taking my photo, I was waiting on them handing me a board, with my name & number on it, to hold out in front of me, but they didn't want me to do that. I'm just used to the look straight on, to the left, to the right, and keep your tongue in.
Right I'm gonna stop now, today is the day that I do my exercises ( i do them every other day, all being well of course) and my Bike to Knowhere will be waiting on me. So I'd just like to thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to come here, and read this thing that I do, in this place that I do it in. If by some fluke, you've learned anything from reading this, then that's good ( education, education, education) if you haven't, then you're a clever clogs then, aren't you? Cheers...........
Right the first picture is Stornoway, taken from Gallows Hill ( I think, I'll really need to start telling Boy to name the pics, instead of numbering them) The second pic. is a beach in Harris, I think? Again I'll need to remember what they are, but that's it folks. cheers....

To the tune of Leader of the gang?

Blog on, blog on, blog on, blog on, blog on, I say
Do you wanna be in my blog, my blog my blog
Do you wanna be in my blog, Oh Yeah,
Do you wanna be in my blog, my blog my blog
Do you wanna be in my blog
You're the reader, you're the reader
You're the reader of the stuff I post
You're the reader, you're the reader
Would you like some tea and toast.
I can post here all thru' the night, even though it's shite
I can post here while you're in bed, yes I'm off my head
You've gotta please read it,
Blog on, blog on
You've gotta please read it.
Blog on, blog on
Do you wanna be in my blog, my blog, my blog
Do you wanna be in my blog, Oh Yeah
Do you wanna be in my blog, my blog, my blog
Do you wanna be in my blog, Oh Yeah.
You're the reader, you're the reader
You're the reader of the crap I post
You're the reader, you're the reader
So please don't give up the ghost
I can give you a great big thrill, over the hill?
I can post here all for you, that's what I do
You've gotta believe me, blog on, blog on
You better believe me, blog on, blog on
You gotta please read it, blog on, blog on
Do you wanna be in my blog, my blog, my blog.
Do you wanna be in my blog
MY BLOG
BLOG ON BLOG ON BLOG ON BLOG ON BLOG ON I SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

No I can't forget the heaving.
Or all the heavy breathing.
And I now know that's how constipation goes.
I almost smiled, but in my arse the blockage grows.
Yes it grows.
So I'll try again tomorrow
Or I might just drown my sorrows
When I have to shit, but can not let it flow
And it smells so bad, if I should let one go
Should let one go
I can't shit, if shitting is without poo
I can't shit, I can't shit anymore
Can't shit if shitting is without poo
I can't shit, I can't push anymore
No I can't do no more heaving
Cos my piles have started bleeding
Yes I guess that's just the way the blockage goes
And then I smile, as the brown stuff starts to flow
Yes it flows
I can shit, I can shit so much more
I can shit, even though it's so sore
I can shit, I can shit so much more
Oooh shitting is without poo

Hi, emm, eh, good morning. It's Sunday today, and it's still a bit dark, and cold outside, so just stay indoors, unless you have to go out, if you don't have to then stay indoors today. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm not part of the Nanny State, I'm not even sure if there is one ( a Nanny State) so do whatever you want, but wrap up warm today, again just some friendly advice, nothing more.
In the daily newspaper that I get ( The Herald) there is usually a lot of adverts for dogs, no not for dogs to read, like it's ads. put in by people selling dogs, there's none of that " free to good home" garbage, it's la creme de la creme ( whatever that means? If it means top-notch wee doggies, then that's all right, if it doesn't, then I'm mis-leading you, but hey, it's only a blog about a dog!)
I'm gonna explain to you that these dogs cost hundreds of £££££, and there are some weird dogs, like there's a Labradoodle, yeah, honest there is. I think it's a cross between a labrador and a poodle, but I'm only guessing here, and I'm no doggie expert, although I do have a Border Collie Dog myself ( technically she's a bitch) I don't think she's ever been to the Borders though, and we've had her since she was 10 weeks old. Right back to the doggie ads.  There was an ad for a Chocolate Lab. I thought it was real chocolate, you know like at Xmas you can get chocolate rheindeers, well that's what I thought it was, but it's to do with the colouring of the dog, and not what it's made of ( they should be a bit clearer though) Right onto the ad.
COCKAPOO puppies,
beautiful litter of miniature black fluffy babies, ready now.
Will mature at 15"
Both parents can be seen.
Raised inside with children
Fully wormed Boys and girls.
The first thing is, what the Donald Duck is a " Cockapoo"?
What next? Cross a German Shepherd with a Springer Spaniel? What would that be called? Oh I know, A Gerry Springer ( did you see wot I did there? well didya?) And if you cross a Greyhound ( that's the half-blind dog that chases a thing around a track, and not buses that are in the USA) and a Shih Tzo ( pronounced "SHIT ZOO" well that's how I say it anyway) You'd call it a Shithound, or maybe a Grey-shit.
There are lots of other breeds that can be crossed, Rottweillers are usually bloody livid, well the one's that I know of are.
Well that's it for today. As I've pointed out to you already, it's bloomin' cold out today, well in the UK it is. Thank you for coming here and reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. And remember, it's not just dogs that need worming, boys and girls do to. Cheers

Right I'm a bit bored, so I thought that I'd do something here, and I'm gonna give you a list, well more a few reasons of things I dislike, rather than hate, There's Too much Hate In This World Already People, Without Me Adding To It. ( and I don't mean that I'm a figure of hate, or that I want to be hated, no I want to be loved, mostly by women, woah there, For mostly let's put in exclusively , instead, although men can love me too, but I'm like a Vegas Stripper, look but don't touch, I don't take my clothes off in front of people for money, that's not to say that I wouldn't, there must be a "Niche Market" out there somewhere, for that kinda thing.)
Right onto my list, before I get into any trouble.
It's not in any order, just as I remember them ( I should've wrote it down) That vacuum packed bacon. I can never get it open, it states "Open Here" but I can never do it. I imagine there's a couple of guys laughing because they put the "Open Here" thing in the wrong place, just to annoy ME. I've gone off bacon, unless someone else makes it.
The next thing is- Clingfilm.... I fecking hate this stuff. It comes in one of those oblong shaped boxes with a little cardboard serrated edge, that you're meant to use to cut the bloody thing, but it just ends up like all over the fecking place. I don't believe in Capital Punishment, but I'd gladly pull the lever, or whatever, on whoever invented clingfilm, Bastards...
Next is that toilet paper that are in some public toilets. It's that tracing paper shitty stuff. I think it's made by Jeyes, hey name them and shame them, and if you've just done a poo, and ( depending on which way you wipe, up or down) you go to wipe your arse, then whooosh, it slides halfway up your back, faster than the German Bobsleigh team, or down, if you wipe down the way. So you've either got a brown streak up your back, or yer balls are covered in browning. And it has a nasty habit of ripping in mid wipe, so you've got a wee bit of brown under your nail. You come out of the loo, to wash your hands, and people are looking at you, so you just gotta say " Need to give up the smoking, it's making a mess of my fingers"
There is more, but I'm just so exhausted. This takes a great deal of energy for ME, so I better stop now. Cheers...

Hi, how are you doing out there? I've not been very good the past few days, but the worst seems to be over, and I'm just a bit delicate just now. I dunno what to put in here this morning. I don't wanna go over all the moans'n'groans that I've been doin' the past few days. Oh, oh it's Valentines Day today. So excuse me while I pop off to do something, I'll be back before you know it, I'll play some music for you, while I'm away, and it's not any old shite you know, the music that I'm gonna play, it's the Multi GRANNY Award winning Amy Winehouse ( apparently that's her real name, honest I'm sure it is, I thought it was her showbiz name) Right I'm Back.
She's really good that Amy Winehouse, I'm listening to her just now, well not right now, although I could be, if I wanted to, but I'm not. Oh heck I've just remembered that the kids are off school today. Why can't I remember good things? Sorry I was waiting on an answer, but none was forthcoming, well not from me anyway. What's on today, will you wait until I go check the weather, and the lottery results? Make a cuppa for yerself, if ye want like, it's not an order. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, I wouldn't dream of it ( well there's one or two of you that I'd like to tell you what to do, or tell me what to do, because I'm a naughty boy, no I'll leave that for another time) so do what you like, or what you have to.
Ok the weather's good, a bit on the chilly side, but set fair, and we can't ask for more than that ( well we can, or could, but we won't get it, not at this time of year.) now can we? We're still poor, which means that we never won the lottery, well we won a tenner, but it won't pay off the mortgage now will it? No it won't.
Well I'm gonna end soon, so as ever, thank you for taking the time out of your day to come to my teeny little piece of the blogosphere ( when I say "mine" technically speaking, it's only on loan to me from blog.co.uk, I'm only a member, I'm not a pro., sorry when I type/think those two words, they conjure up thoughts in my mind, and they shouldn't I know, but a member could be a mans penis, in my mind, and I'm sure that BCUK could've come up with something better than "pro." for the paying bloggers. I think that those that thought up the names are men, I dunno why, but I do. So are you a member? Or a Pro.?) and thank you for reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. Right that's yer lot, Cheers...

Happy Valentines day to all the Ladeeze!!!!

I've not put in a title yet, because I dunno what I'm gonna put in here yet> Will you do me a favour? Remind me to put in a title, before I put this live on the blogosphere, right thanks. Yesterday I wasn't feeling too good, even though City hammered United 2-1, and maybe me shouting and bawling at the tv, ref, linesmen, sorry ass. refereee's, et al, didn't help my condition, but it should have been a great day, and it was, but me feeling like shit, and trying to drink my body weight in water ( to get rid of the toxins) was all too much for my body. I was gonna just do an " un-edited" version of what messages I've been leaving on my Dick. but, I can't find it this morning, and I don't wanna go searching for it just now, I'm still in a very delicate state, and I don't wanna make too much noise, the rest of the household are still asleep, apart from the goldfish, although it/he/she ( I dunno how to check a goldfish sex, and does it really matter? OK yep, I'll agree on that point, that it does matter to the goldfish, but to us humans, does it matter? Yeah ok, if you're a scientist, and you're doing goldfish research, it would be good to know which are the males and which are the female goldfish. Now apart from the goldfish, and the research scientist, nobody else really gives a monkeys dick about what sex they are, do they? There aren't any people in the world that have a "Goldfish Fetish" are there? If there is, they will want to know what sex they are, I'm sure, but what they'd be able to, NO NO NO, sorry this is heading to a place I don't want it to go to, so, let's all sit down and get back to the nice bits.) may be asleep, I dunno if the goldfish is asleep or not, I dunno if the goldfish ever sleeps, maybe those research scientists could tell me? I don't know if there are any Goldfish Research scientists, and if I did, maybe they weren't researching that bit of the goldfish. They may be researching the swimming patterns of a goldfish, or the length of a goldfish memory? Now I've heard it said, and seen it written that a goldfish memory is only able to remember about 5 seconds, and I'm sure that one or two of you lovely peoples out there have heard that also ( some of you horrible peoples out there, might have also heard that, I like to be " All Inclusive" in my weblog postings) heard/read that too. I ain't no research scientist, however whenever I go to feed the goldfish, it comes to the top when it sees me, and if I forget to feed it ( I think that I've fed it today? Yes I have, the salt-cellar is on top of the fishfood box. We feed the goldfish twice daily, I feed it in the morning, and when I do, I put the salt-cellar  on top of the fishfood box, to let everyone know that I've fed it. Then at evening time somone else feeds the goldfish, and leaves the salt-cellar off the goldfish box. I know, it's the little things that count, and it may well be a stroke of utter brilliance to have thought of that way to let us know if the goldfish has been fed or not, but I only do these things because I care, and not for any other gratification) the goldfish comes to the top of the water, in it's tanky thing, and makes blubbing noises, or gurgling noises, well that's what it sounds like to the untrained ear, however to me, the fish is saying " Oi, you, where's my fucking dinner?"  It's a shame that those animals, and indeed peoples of this world whose first language is not english, all know the EFF word. Is that the first thing that pupils in a class get taught? Like let's say, for example, in Germany, a class is getting their first English lesson, and the teacher starts the lesson with what? Learning to count? " Repeat after me, one, two, three" Is that how they do it? Or maybe, just maybe, they start like this " Repeat after me, fuck off, shite, shit, wanker, bastard" Is that how they do it? Possibly not, but maybe they just learn it in the playground? I dunno.
Oh well that's it for another day, it was nice to chat with you today, I'm still feeling rather delicate ( I don't drink, I can act like an ass without drinking) so I'll stop now, well not right now, but very shortly. It just leaves me time to thank you for reading this thing wot I do in this place wot I do it in, and if you've learnt anything from coming here, then that's good. Cheers......

Hi, how you all doing? I'm ok, yeah thanks for asking. Emm, I think I'll leave it just now, and maybe come back and do more here later, is that alright with you? Yeah, I've got a doze of the trots today again. At least I'll catch up on the news, ok.

I don't like moving house very much, although I have, in the past, moved about an awful lot, however the house that I live in now, and share with my wife and 2 kids, is my last resting place, hopefully. We moved to this house 1998, so nearly 10 years then. Since moving to the Outer Hebrides in 1987, we have lived in ( talk amongst yourselves while I think ) 4 places, I think. Yeah that's right 4 it is then. So 4 times in 20 years ain't too bad, but I hate moving. Coming here from Edinburgh, where we were living at the time, was a bit of a nightmare. We lived in a flat on the top floor, so it was 4 flights of stairs up and down, and it was on a busy road, so we had problems getting parked, and the Traffic Wardens, oh well they were reasonable. My father was at the van, it was a biggish van and he stayed there, in case some bugger pinched any of our stuff. Herself flew up here ( on a plane, not on her broomstick, that was packed away) so I had to drive up on my own, in a hired van, then unload the stuff here, then get up the next morning for the 5.15 am Ferry back to the mainland and drop of the van.
So I don't like moving, and don't want to be on the move again.
My brother on the other hand moves about more than a dog with the runs. And not just in the same city, country, continent, he's been to NZ, India, USA, S. Africa, and that's just the places that I can remember. I couldn't do that, it's like being on the run from the law or something, maybe he is. Well that's it, I was just filling in time 'til the footie came on. Cheers..