A selection of photographic masterpieces, taken by myself, at great risk, I might add, as it's bloody cold here. Right no more words, just pictures.


Right if you click on the pictures they will pop up, but please be aware that the 2nd picture may frighten young children ( she frightens me) That's it Cheers...

I thought that when I read about the "BLOSCARS" that it was a joke, and that someone had beaten me to it. Then I saw Sidejumps post stating that the nominations were in, and it's gonna happen. Well that's ok, but I'm gonna do my own version, emm they're gonna be called the Notanotherbloggerscars, nah, doesn't grab me that one, hmm, Oh, oh, oh, how about The Notcars? Yeah I like that, and I could be here all bloody morning thinking of a name, so The Notcars they are then.

                                             THE NOTCARS..
Hello and welcome to the first annual Notcars. So without much ado, whatever that means, let's get on with the show. So the first category is:- The Sexiest Blogger ( female) and the nominations are:- Antlady69, and Sidejump. And The winner is...................... Oh controversy already, and I haven't even told you the winner, it's a tie ( no a tie hasn't been selected as the winner of the Sexiest Blogger (female) Notcars award) Both are winners, so that's a Notcar to each blogger, well done.
The next category is:- Best Good News Blogger:- And the winner is:- Arnica, well who would have thought eh? Next category is:- Best Tips of The Day Blogger:- And The Winner is:- EssPee...... Sorry Stevie-Boy, No speeches.
The next category is:- Best Organ Farmer Blogger:- This was a very difficult decision for the judges ( that's me, Getoffthe ( my dog, she's a bitch really, so if you didn't win anything, it was her fault) and the goldfish) but in a split decision, the award goes to.......................Lindow. Well done James, again no speeches, learn when to keep quiet ok, I'll set the dog on you. The next category is:- The Best Blogger From A Small Rural Town In Germany With A Purple Head. And The winner is...... Antlady ( I think that the "69" part of her username should be dropped until she sends myself and one or two other, hand-picked bloggers, photographic evidence of her "69" downings)
We better move along a bit quicker, right next category is:- Blogger with most used Lovenest ( no it's not a colloquialism for best kept fanny) and the winner is.................Sidejump!!! Next category is:- Most Poetic Blogger. Now there are a few nominations in this category, and they are, in no particular order:- James of Lindow, la_spice, and Notanotherblogger. The judges had a really difficult decision, and there were disagreements ( well I was wanting a Notcar for myself) but in the end, on a very close 2-1 decision, the award goes to..................la_spice, yeah very good, well done, guess which 2 animals won't be getting fed today??? La_spice couldn't be here to collect the award herself, so Arnica will collect it for her. "Nice dress Arnie, you scrub up quite well, play your cards right, and I'll show you the sights"
Moving swiftly on, the next category is:- Blogger with the most attractive wife called Kathy:- and the winner is........... James of Lindow, nice one James, oops, mind how you go now, no still no speeches James, The Karaoke will start soon, don't worry. Next category is:- Blogger with the loudest fart:- And the winner is..... Notanotherblogger. Yes, YES, YES, Thank you, I'd just like to thank HP, Heinz, The Bangalore Indian Restaurant, but most of all I'd like to thank ME, so thank me, thank me thank me. Right we're back to the No Speeches Rule again.
Right next category is:-  Blogger most likely to be seen on TV.. And the winner is........EssPee. Well done Stevie-Boy, don't get too carried away now, the judges agreed that you'd most likely be seen on " CRIMEWATCH" (lol) Next category is:- Blogger with the best username ( have I done that one? No, so why are you asking? I dunno? Well just shut it then. Don't talk to me like that)  And the winner is:- Arnica. Well done Arnie, no still no speeches.
The final Notcar of this years first annual Notcars, is for The Blogger with the longest nose/trunk on their profile picture ( What? ) And the winner is................................Notanotherblogger YESSSS, The no speeches rule is off now. " Thank you, for honouring me with this award, I feel humble ( I dunno who humble is, but i copped a quick feel) and happy on receiving this award, and there are no strings on me either, and I'm not made of wood, but thank you (sniff, ) my darlings, this means (sniff) so much to me( sniff) I love you all.
Here is a picture of the Coveted Notcars
Yes my friends it isn't only a great award to receive, but practical too. You will be able to see where you pee in the dark, with this glow in the dark loo seat, or Notcar Award, as we like to call it. Is it just coincidence that the colour of this part of my post is brown?
If you have managed to get this far without dozing off, or falling asleep, I thank you for reading this thing wot I do in this place wot I do it in. Have we learned any lessons by reading this? Maybe we've learnt not to take things too seriously, have fun, enjoy life and be safe. Cheers...