by
notanotherblogger
@ Wednesday, 20. Feb, 2008 - 06:31:04
Hi, it's wednesday today ( good start, knowing what day it is, I'll get the date right very shortly, although I may have to cheat, but you won't know that unless I tell you that I've cheated, but I ain't gonna cheat. Right last Thursday was Valentino's Day, which is the ............14th, right? friday's the 15th, saturday's the 16th, sunday's the 17th, monday's the 18th, tuesday's the 19th, therefore today is the 20th? Yes I got it right WAHOOOOOOO) So I was getting ready for my shower yesterday ( that time of the month again. Not that time of the month that ladeeze get, like I've not got the painters in, or anything)and was in a bit of a rush, which I don't do very well, I was getting my clothes ready that I was gonna wear, and was throwing them into the bathroom, from my bedroom ( it's only a metre or two between bathroom and bedroom, well within throwing distance) and the reason I was rushing was because I had been on the pan having a dump, and left having a shower until the smell had gone away. I grabbed my slippers and threw them into the bathroom, and I looked on in horror as one of my slippers went straight into the pan. I couldn't have done that if I'd been trying. Luckily enough I had flushed the toilet after having a dump, so my slipper wasn't covered in shit. I got into the shower and started washing my hair ( yep I've still got some, even at my age) then a bit of soap got into my eye, then as I tried to wash the soap out of my eye, more soap went up my nose, then in my mouth, and I was in a right friggin' mess. I couldn't open my eyes, because they were stinging, I was groping for the mouthwash, and as I got it I started to slip, so I grabbed onto the first thing that came to hand, the shower curtain, and I managed to pull it off, and the curtain was now lying on the floor, as I fell back, I must've touched the controls on the shower, and the water went icy cold AAAaahhhhh, I was friggin' freezing, but I still had the soap in my eye, up my nose, and was gargling mouthwash, but the coldness ( and the shock of the icy water hitting my body, could've given me a heart attack, but I'm stronger than that) of the water, and my screaming, meant that half the mouthwash poured out of my mouth, and I swallowed the other half.
I managed to get everything back together again, and started drying myself off, when my Boy wanted to use the loo, so I let him in, and he said " Do you know that you've still got soap in your hair?" So I had to get back in the shower, to wash the soap out of my hair, but this time I'd gotten my daughters swimming goggles and nose-clip on, and all was well once more in the household.
I've decided that showering is for people who are dirty, and I'm not dirty ( I can be a bit dirty in the sexual sense, like talking dirty, but we don't wanna go there just now) so I'll cut back on the showers to maybe one every two or three months, that should do me alright.
That's about it for another day. I'd like to thank you for coming here and reading this thing that I do, in this place that I do it in. Have we learned anything from this? Well yes I think we have. When showering, keep all your orifices closed, or taped up, or don't breathe in when soaping yourself. It's for your own good, you may die, but at least you won't get soap in your eyes/mouth/nose/ears.
That's it then Cheers...
