Well then that's Easter over and done with then, what's the next thing we can set our sights on? May holiday? Summer holidays? Summer feels a very long way off just now. We've got a covering of snow on the ground here, spring hasn't sprung yet, and we need to have spring before summer. Maybe all this warming of the globe, and the changing of the climate ( which I don't think is like the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, although I've never seen either, so I don't really know?) could mean that spring won't start until June? So summer ( always assuming that we get one this year, although last summer it was the rains, and the summer before that it was the drought, so maybe this year it'll be a mixture of both?) won't start until september.
The weather sure is different, or is it? When we look back to our childhood, and remember those long hot days of summer, or those snowy winter days out sledging in the snow, are we recalling every summer/winter? I know that we didn't have many white Xmas's, otherwise they would never have written that song, I can't remember the name of it just now, but it was quite a big hit many moons ago.
We're getting new back and front doors, we have to, well we need a new back door anyway, and Herself ( my ever loving wife) wants to get a new front door as well. I can guarantee one thing, there'll be something wrong, or something will go wrong with the doors, when they need to be fitted. They're not very cheap, it's gonna cost us over £1000 just for the doors, then there's the £300 that it's gonna cost for fitting. It takes 3 weeks, from the date we order them, until they are ready, but if we want one of the company's fitters to do the job, then it'll be 8-10 weeks, approx. before they'd be fitted. Living on an island, without all the B&Q's of the world, is sometimes nice, but it can be costly to. I'm sure that we could hop on the ferry, and nip into Inverness, for the day, then pick out a couple of doors, have then delivered, once ready, but that's costly as well. It'll be about £100, or more for us on the 3 hour ferry ride, then there's the 120 mile round trip from Ullapool to Inverness in the car, so another £20 or so for fuel. Then there's the delivery cost of 2 large doors, which will be about £60-70, so we've got £200 to add on before we even start. At least buying local means that if there's something wrong with the doors, we can go to their place and shout at them.
Righto that's it, I'll maybe be back tomorrow, maybe not, who knows? Who cares? who reads this shit? Who writes this shit? Oh I do, although technically speaking, I don't write it, I type it, then it magically appears on this page. I dunno how it works, but it just does. Right Cheers then........

What a really shitty start to the day for me. I went to unlock the back door, it was stiff ( I'm not gonna do any penis jokes today) but it was always like that, so we only used to half-lock it, only turn the key enough so that the lock was locked, and it was easy to unlock. However it was locked the full way this morning, and I was trying to get it unlocked, I did the shifting, WD40, 3in1 oil stuff, but still no success, then I thought that I was nearly there, but needed a bit more weight behind my efforts to turn the key in the lock ( my fingers were very sore, they were already sore due to the cold weather getting at them) so I got my pliers, and it seemed to be moving, then SNAP, the key broke in the bloody lock.
Oh shit. I don't need this today. I'll just have to have a think about it, but if you know how to help, I'd be very grateful, otherwise I'll probably just break the door down, maybe not though.
The F1 Malaysian GP kicks off at 7 o'clock, so I'll see if I can do something before then, unlikely though it is, but I'll have a wee check. It's a mortis/chubb kinda lock thing, and the key bit that unlocks it, that's stuck in the lock, I've taken the cover off the key-hole, but that's about it. I better go. Cheers.....

It's bloody cold out there this morning folks, well it is here, even the dog ( a bitch really, but not in the American bitchy way) wasn't too keen to venture out this morning. I went for a seat in the smallest room in the house, and it was bloody cold in there this morning. Normally I'd open the window, after doing my business, and it was rather whiffy, but it's too cold for that this morning.
So did everybody have a good Good Friday then? I haven't been doing much reading lately, but I'll get back to it soon. Still no sign of Antlady, I wonder where she is? I miss my Antlady, she's not exclusively mine, and really, I'm more hers than she is mine, if you follow, if you don't then it doesn't matter. I just hope that she is alright, that's all.
I found out from a Heathen friend of mine ( yes I do have some, that's friends, and not Heathens, although I do have both, not actually on me, or living under my roof, with me, but I have Heathen Friends) told me that Easter comes from the Heathen Festival called Oestre ( will you hang on a bit, I've gotta go and check the facts out before I tell you them, I don't wanna be telling you any falsehoods) It is named after a Germanic Godess, and the eggs are to do with the Heathen festival too, as they were a fertility symbol, and nothing to do with Christians at all.
Oestre was a spring-time festival, with much eating, drinking and shagging, I think that the Heathens have got this festival thing sorted out much better than the Christians have. All they do is go to church, and pray. What would you rather do? Got to church, sing a few crappy, solemn songs, and pray? Or have a big party to celebrate Oestre, eat, drink and be merry, then do a bit of rumpy-pumpy ( that's the shagging bit) to celebrate the on-coming of Spring? I know which one I'd rather do.
Oh the qualifying for the Malaysian F1 Grand Prix is on now ( Prix is pronounced "Pree" as in free, and not "Pricks" as in dicks, it's a French thing) so gotta go. Thank you for stopping by here, and reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. Have we learnt anything today? Yes we have learned about the Heathen/Pagan Festival of Oestre, which was hijacked by the Christians. We also learnt that it's bloody cold outside today. Cheers..

I'm never really sure about Easter, is it a happy or sad holiday? Like at Xmas, you celebrate ( some more than others) but at Easter, what does one do? ( I went all posh on ye there, I was watching that Royal programme last night, it was on BBC3 or 4, it was on BBC anyway, and they talk funny, well different I should say, don't want to be locked up in the tower, now, but anyway, the Royal Family were all speaking to the reporter chappy, and it was mostly the Queens children, One's offspring, and I just kept thinking that how did Phil The Greek, get round to giving Queeny one? Maybe she issued a Royal Command, and Phil had to perform, or else? A Royal Command Performance, did ye see that coming? Neither did I, and I could've chosen my words a bit better, coming indeed. But really can you picture Lizzie, and Phil The Greek going at it like little bunny rabbits ( hey it's Easter, that'll be your Easter Bunny) sweating all over the place, and who'd be sleeping on the damp patch? They get servants to do everything for them, do you think that maybe, just maybe they got servants to shag the arse off each other, in their place? I dunno, I just can't picture it, can you?) Now where was I? Oh yeah, easter, what do we do? And who thought of all the Easter Eggs business? Where does that come into Easter? Is it because ( and I'm only thinking aloud here, well not really, but you know what I mean) the Christians were so devasted by Jesus being crucified ( a Roman, not Jewish, means of killing) that they needed something to give them a bit of a lift? And chocolate can do that for lots of people, especially females. Am I right here? It's just a wild theory, but I could be right.
I was thinking about death the other day there ( yet again, I'll outlive everybody) and thought that if I get cremated, I'd like my ashes to be thrown into the sea. I'd like a small service on the beach, then my ashes thrown to the waves as they come crashing to the shore, and hopefully there'll be a bit of a sea-breeze, and my ashes will get blown back into everybody's faces. Some of them will get bits of me in their eyes, others maybe up their nose, in the ears, but mostly their eyes, then I'll be able to live on through these people. I don't want any really old people to be there, it would be a bit too cold for them, I'm sure ( plus they're likely to kick the bucket too soon for my liking) I'd like some young fit looking ladeeze to be there, then I'd get to see how the other half live.
Why is Good Friday, called Good Friday? On Skysports every Sunday is "Super Sunday" so did Sky pinch the idea off the Jesus followers? What is Saturday? For some of you it's the day you get legless, but I mean this Saturday, does it have a title? You've got Easter Sunday, then Easter Monday, is it just Easter Saturday then? Do Christians do anything special on that day? Like, maybe denounce the Pope, in the morning, then ask for forgivness in the evening? I'm only guessing here, I don't know, I could be wrong. I'm just curious, and I ain't no pussy cat ( well not a real one, but I'll be your cat if you'll be my pussy, NO, No, No, it's the George Galloway effect, I'm sorry)
Well that's it for another post. Thank you for reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. If you've learned anything from reading this, then you're very lucky indeed. If you can answer any of my questions, then by leaving a comment, in the box provided, please do so, all comments are read, although not all are answered. Have a nice Easter, if that's what you're supposed to have???
Ps If Phil & liz do the shagging themselves, which one is on top????

It's Good Friday this Friday, is it just me or does seem to be early this year? I can never remember how Easter is worked out, it's never on the same date each year, I know that I was told how it was worked out, but I can't remember. I'd like to be able to remember it, but that's more to do with me wanting a better memory, than wanting to understand how Easter is worked into the calendar each year.
I used to wonder if Jesus was to come back to the world now ( I don't know if Jesus ever existed, he may have, but I'm afraid that I'm just not that old, and even if I was 2000 or so years old, I don't live in the same country as him, so I still wouldn't have known him, if he really did exist, that is) what would he be like? Which country would he come back to first? I think Israel wouldn't be his first port of call, they took a dislike to him first time around, and Rome, well with The Vatican and all that, you'd think that Rome would be near the top of any list He had, but who was it that crucified Him the last time? Hmm, let me think now, oh yes it was the Romans, so maybe He's not got good memories of Rome. Would He come back in America, oh God I do hope not, no surely not. Surely He would get rid of all those right-wing bible thumping bastards, that are always on the tv telling you that you're a sinner, and to repent and pay for your sins, send a cheque to the value of $50 to their address, then your sins will be forgiven. They're a bunch of money grabbing, conning, whore mongering, fuckers. I'm not too keen on those people, I dunno if you sussed that out, but I don't really like them, and they possibly don't like me, but they don't know me, but if they did, they might not like me, do I care? No not really.
If Jesus did come back, and he was a big hit with everybody, would He say that He was bigger than The Beatles?
Would Beatles fans, all over the world, go out into the streets and burn crucifixes ( wooden ones like, not those ones with jewels and gold in them, they might be angry, but not that angry) and bibles, particularly the New Testament, that's the bits in the Bible that tells you all about Jesus, and pictures of Him? Well would they? I dunno, I don't really care either.
If you've read this, then you get a gold star, I'd give you a medal, but I don't have any to give you, so I'll just say thank you for dropping by, and do pop in again, you never know, you might just learn something. So Cheers..........
This Weblog Posting was Produced by....Don Task
                                             Directed by....Hugh Cares
                                              Read by.... YOU!!!

I like music, at the moment I like the girl singers that are being churned out by the Brit School ( I never knew that there was a Brit School, and I don't know what or where or anything about it) such as Amy Winehouse, who has a fantastic singing voice, but will she be able to perform as well, if she gets off the drugs? She is due to appear at T in The Park, which is held in Fife in the summer, a couple of days in July I think? Not sure of the exact dates, but I won't be there, so it doesn't really matter to me, although it'll be on the goggle box I'm sure, which is great, I love lying in bed watching the summer music festivals. Last year I thought that the best performers were, in my humble opinion, Amy Winehouse, Babyshambles ( I'd never heard them before, and although I think that Pete Docherty is a bit of a Nobhead, he was good at what he did) and oh what's her name again? She has a show on BBC3 now, oh come on, it's there somewhere, but where? She wears nice frocks, or dresses, she has a famous dad, oh bingo, Lilly Allen, I thought she was very good. Who's gonna be the big sensations at this years summer music festivals? Duffy? Kate Nash? And that one that's been chasing pavements, I can't recall her name, and I've got a bit of a headache after trying to remember Lilly Allens name, oh is it Adele? It could be, but it might not be, but it's the one that's been chasing pavements recently ( surely there's better things to be chasing, and is there a hidden meaning in the song?  I dunno, and don't fucking care either, I liked the song, oh I also like that Leonna Lewis bird, she's got a lovely singing voice, but she's classed as a manufactured  pop act, I don't fucking care, alright. What about The Beatles?  They were  manufactured. Brian Epstein took them  and put them in suits, got them air-play, a record deal, and the rest is history, although at the time it wasn't history, it would've been the future, at that exact time, but today it's history.  So all you music snobs out there, what have you got to say to that?  Yeah, well same to you, but double it, back at you)
Right I'm a bit pissed off now, so I'm gonna go away from here for a bit. I'm not thanking you for coming here and reading this stuff that I did in this place that I did it today. Why? Because I can't be arsed, or it could be ME. CHEERS..........

My PC is running slow, in fact it's not running at all, it's just at walking pace, but it's possibly got something to do with me. How has it got something to do with me? I dunno? Oh and by PC, I do, of course mean my computer, and not my politically correctness, although my politically correctness may well be running slow as well, again, if it is, it's possibly my fault. I don't mind taking the blame for the little things that go wrong in life, in fact I just tell people that it's my fault, even when it isn't. There is a method to this madness, and once I've worked out what it is, I'll tell you, unless it's something I shouldn't tell you. I think it's got something to do with honesty, or maybe it's that if something really big goes wrong, and it is my fault, like if for example, I throw the television out of the window, in a fit of rage, for some reason or other ( and there are way too many reasons for throwing the tv out of the window to list here) and I'm not seen doing it, then I can deny it was me, because I could say that I own up to things when it's my fault, or when I'm to blame. We have quite a large tv, so throwing it through the window, wouldn't be very easy.
I've noticed that there has been a lot of people leaving this blog site, and I have also noticed that Antlady has not been logged in for over a week, but she does that, from time to time, so maybe I shouldn't worry about her so much.
The weather is supposed to be quite good for today, well here at least, so maybe I'll go to the shops this morning, nah I'll only spend money, and I was out on thursday, although I never went to the shops, it was a Dr's appointment, and I went for a swim, although the arm-bands are getting a bit tight, and my rubber ring is looking a bit grubby. Maybe I need to go shopping for a new rubber-ring, and arm bands? Maybe not though. My Dr said that I'm the perfect weight to height ratio, if I was 2ft taller, so I either need to lose a few pounds ( not the gambling pound losing diet, but the other one) or start growing taller. I'd prefer to do the latter, maybe my basketball skills would improve? They couldn't get much worse. Anyway, I need to lose the weight for the op. that I'm gonna have later on this year, hopefully, or they'll bump me off the waiting list. They never tell you to your face though. The consultants never say, to your face that you're too fat to get an op. There could be good reasons for that.
Well I'm gonna check out the F1 qualifying results now so that's it. Thank you for coming here and reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. Have you learned anything from reading this? Well you may have learnt that owning up to the little mis-haps in life, even though they're not your fault, can let you off with the big mis-haps in life, when they are your fault. Do remember that throwing your tv out of the window is not clever, big or funny, and is also very costly. Cheers....

It's budget day today, well I think it is, in fact I'm pretty sure it is, so that means we'd better stick some petrol in the car ( that'll be gas for anyone from America looking in, well you never know, maybe the CIA, or the FBI, or the KKK, are keeping tabs on my weblog postings, I have been controversial in the past, and some people look for hidden messages in my posts, that could be there, possibly? ) and bulk buy some smokes, emm no, I've stopped smoking, so unless one of the kids have started smoking, don't need to buy any smokes. What else do we need to get in, just in case A. Darling wallops a big, stonking tax on something. Oh Alcopops, Herself likes the Bacardi Breezers, I don't drink anymore, well  I would if I could, but I can't, I take way too many drugs, to mix them with large dollops of alcohol, would not be sensible, I'm not known for being sensible though, Herself is though, and you can't have two in the same house, so that's that sorted then. I'm lost here now, I don't know how you're doing? How are you doing? I never ask these sort of questions of you, and it's rather rude of me, I do apologise, it's all me, me, me, with me, these days, but today it's you, you, you, yes it's you. So what would you like to discuss? Politics? Footie? Sex? Blogging? Music? It's up to you, if you've got something that you'd like to get off your chest, just let me know ( oh and ladeeze, if you wanna get something off your chest, like your bra, please send the video to me, so that I can be of help, it's got nothing to do with me being a perv. it's about caring, sharing, and above all friendship) I'm here for you, yes even you delboy ( both of you).
I'll do a bit of news shall I ? Who shouted "NO"? If you don't own up, I'll punish everyone, no good moaning, if you know who it is, grass them up. I'd make a great teacher me. If teaching practices haven't changed since the 1970's, then I'd be great, if they've changed, then I'd be shit. Oh I was gonna do news, wasn't I? Yes, oh that Governor in the States, what's his name, well he's been dining out a lot, with ladeeze of the night, allegedly, ( gotta put that bit in, it saves any messy court cases, or so I've been informed) and somebody in the political world of the USA is wanting to Impeach him ( he's been going with prostitutes, and paying them too, well they wouldn't be prostitutes if he didn't pay them, they'd be amatitutes, or nymphomaniacs, and I don't know if he went with the same one, all the time, or if it was more than one, or if he went with them more than once, so basically, I don't know a lot) like they tried to impeach Clinton for shooting Monica Lewinsky's dress. That was wierd, like you've got President Clinton's spunk stains on your dress, so you get your wierdest mate to pop it into the dry-cleaners for you, after telling her, why you wanted it cleaned. When you go into the dry-cleaners, what do you say? " Emm, excuse me, but do you think you could get this stain out?" and the dry-cleaning person asks "What is it? " and you reply " Well it's err, emm, Presidents Spunk Stains" and the dry-cleaner person states" Oh, no way can we get that out. If it was a Vice Presidents spunk stain, yes that would be no problem, but a President is a different cum altogether"
I've gone off the actual news story that I was gonna tell you about. They want to impeach the guy for shagging a prossie, which may or may not be right, but you have a guy that has killed thousands of his own people, and thousands more abroad, yet there's no talk on impeaching him. Only in America, yeah? Oh the guy that's killed all those poor sods, or had killed, is George W Bush, as if I needed to tell you that.
Right I better stop now, before I go on too long. Thank you for coming here and reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. Have you learned anything from reading this? Well you've learnt that American Presidents spunk stains are nearly impossible to get off a dress. You can look at all the labels of all the cleaning products that are out there, and check to see if Presidents spunk stains, is one of the stains that the product can remove, I doubt very much if that'll be listed on it. You can phone round all the dry-cleaners and ask them if you like, just to hear what they have to say. And on that note I shall say Cheers..
PS Is a 69, known as a 96 down under?

Good morning friends, and those of you who are not friends, but maybe just popped in for a quick peek ( is that right? Or should it be peak? Or maybe neither? Too many questions? I'll stop asking questions now) on the off-chance that this may be a good read, well sorry to disappoint you, but it won't be, well it might be, I dunno? I don't know what I am going to put in here, until my finger starts tapping out the letters. So really this could be a great read, but going on past weblog postings done by myself, it's highly unlikely. I remember an old friend ( well he's not that old, in fact I think that he's younger than me, and I've only known him for virtually a year, or there abouts, his username was steve_p I think? He burnt his blog, but like the phoenix, he rose from the ashes, and now has a new blog) once had a saying, and it was, if I remember it correctly, that " 99% of my posts are shite, but you wouldn't wanna miss the really good one" or something along those lines. It was probably nothing like that at all, I'm terrible for getting things all mixed up, or if there's a getting things mixed up championship, I'm really good at it, I practice every single day, most of the time it just comes naturally to me, it's a skill, you know one of those that you just can't teach, it's either in you, or not.
Well the weather here is still fairly good, it has been raining, but we haven't been "Battered by gusts of up to 80mph" and I think that there may have been just the one gust that was close to 80mph, it was possibly only 77mph, but that doesn't look, or sound as good as, up to 80mph now does it? The media like to make things sound/look worse than it actually is. I am not saying that the storm wasn't fierce, and I'm sure that some people would have suffered because of it, however, the media give out false stories, like how many people died during the storms? I dunno, but let's say 10 people died, but how many of those 10 would have died anyway? Were their deaths as a direct result of the actual storm? Or did they just kick the bucket, because it was their time?
Right that's it for now. If you are Scottish there is a Scotland The Blog , blog that you may wish to join, or have a wee look at. It's not been on the go very long, so have a wee look at it. That's it then, if I've put something in here that I shouldn't have, or whatever, my mind is going blank now. Thank you for coming here and reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. Cheers...

The weather here in the Outer Hebrides is very good, it's not windy, in fact it's very calm, it's not raining, there are a few clouds about, which may block our view of the Sun ( the object in the sky, that we, here on the planet Earth, orbit around, and not the daily newspaper that is called The Sun, if it's daily, why is it not out on a Sunday? It can't be daily then, can it? One to me, there I think, so that's Not 1 Murdoch 0, for now) but that apart it's a very pleasant morning.
I just went out the back there to check on the weather (you never even knew that I had gone, did you? Yes Not. 1 You 0) and the wind is getting up a bit, by that I do mean that it is getting windier, I don't mean that the wind has been in bed asleep, and like a teenager, is taking an age to get out of bed, just being precise. So maybe "THE BIG STORM" will be coming our way after all. Maybe The Big Storm (TBS) has visited us so often in the past, it's (TBS) decided to visit the land of the Eng's ( that'll be England) just for a change, but I'm sure that TBS will be here again, one day soon, after all if it wasn't for the wind, the description of The Outer Hebrides would have to be changed from "Windswept Islands" to "Not As Windy as it used to be, but that's Global Warming, or Climate Change For You Islands" and it just doesn't have the same ring to it ( and by that I mean that it doesn't sound as good as the previous description,  and not anything to do with Bells, or Dewars, or White Horse, or The Famous Grouse ( the low-flyer) or, no no sorry, got the wrong bells there, but hey, that's life, and I'm sick, I need help) does it?
Oh well that's it I'm off ( and by off I don't mean, oh heck I'm not explaining myself again, surely if you can read, you must have a brain, or some common-sense, to work out what I mean, although Esspee, hebburndelboy and antlady, are not included in that last statement, the common-sense bit, and they know why) Cheers..

Here I will list a 10 point plan on how to control pain, it's really for ME, but anyone suffering long-term pain, chronic pain, and Gary-J, can use it.
1) Take some time out of your day for peace & quiet. Take 3 seperate moments in your day, and stop, for a few minutes of peace and quiet. Try to think of happy, peaceful times in your past, and let your mind rest there. Then count your blessings.
2) Allow yourself some rest, let go, do nothing. Concentrate on your breathing, long slow deep breaths. Rest is a necessity, not a luxury.
3) Take time to wonder at nature. Watch water flowing, watch the waves crashing to the shore, listen to the birds sing.
4) Set your own pace. If someone is pushing you, to go quicker, it's alright to say "NO". Have some structure in your day. Think about how long you can stand, sit, move about, to perform a task.
5) Talk slower, talk less, or don't talk at all. Listen to what others are saying to you, don't try to think of what you'll say next, it'll come.
6) Don't eat so fast, enjoy your food, it's for pleasure, as well as nourishment.
7) Make time for play. No matter what age you are. The "inner-child" in us all, needs play time too.
8) Exercise. Plan some exercise each day, or every other day. Don't do too much, your body will tell you when you've done enough, listen to it.
9) If you find yourself rushing and anxious, STOP. Ask yourself "WHY?"
10) Get into the moment. Stroke a furry pet ( a dog or a cat perhaps) and talk to it. You will get the gift of NOW. Your breathing will slow, and endorphins will flow.

That was for ME, and anyone in chronic pain. I wish that I could stick to the 10 point plan myself, it ain't easy, even for us raspberry ripples. Cheers...
PS If you Google "Endorphins" there are some sites that will explain ways of letting endorphins flow, or you can just find out what they are, and what they do, Cheers...

Nothing to tell you today, so won't tell you anything then. I'll just ramble on until I can think of something. Weather eh? It's raining here, that's not entirely unusual, because I checked the weather, and it said that it would rain. I don't wanna cause any confusion ( as per usual) I never spoke to the weather, and it didn't speak to me. I just checked the weather on a weather web-site, that's a web-site that is dedicated to the weather ( not like a radio station dedication, where they may dedicate a song to someone, like a listeners wife, or lover, or mother, or all 3, well it's not that kind of dedication) nothing else, well it has a few adverts on it, which keep flashing at you ( if you were to visit the weather web-site place, the ads would flash at you, but this time they were flashing at me, ooohh, I've just thought of a title now, for this post, the one that I'm not doing today)and although it's annoying, and I may swear at it ( the flasher) I'm sure that it helps to pay for the site, and it's free ( the weather information's free, I dunno if the flashing is free, well they flash at you, that's free, but if you were to click with the flasher, it might cost you)so that is it then eh?
I'm not gonna post today, I've made up my mind, that's it, but thank you for popping by, and checking on me, it's very good of you, maybe I'll pop by your place later on, and we can have a cup of coffee, and a hob-nob to dunk into the coffee, even though it'll sook it all up. Later then yeah? that's good then gotta go, I mean I really gotta go. Where's the bloomin' paper, oh heck it's nearly touching cloth now, CHeeeeeerss....

Hello again, there was an earthquake in England last week ( the red cross parcels are in the post, and so is the cheque, we need to give when these disasters happen, no matter where, or indeed to whom. And me being Scottish, giving doesn't come easy, some Scots have to go into hospital to have an operation to open their wallet, but not me) and there was some damage, and people screaming, but was there a couple, somewhere, in the quake zone, shagging at the exact time the earthquake occurred? That's all that was going through my mind, when I saw the news of the earthquake, I had to keep telling myself " Don't think out loud, don't think out loud" when people were talking about it, but alas I failed, and blurted it out. Did the Earth move for anyone? Was anyone shagging at the precise moment the Earth moved? And, I believe, more importantly, did they cum at that exact moment the Earth moved? Now if that happened the news would be more interesting, worth watching, and maybe they'd do one of those mock-ups, or whatever they're called, like library pictures they have ( although the pictures are never of a library, and another thing, if there's a murder, or police incident, why do they show us film of the street sign? ) and do an action replay, that would boost their viewing numbers.
Right that's it I'm off to dream of Antlady and Sidejump and Lindow, in 3 In A Bed Sex Romp. ( I knew that I'd get the title in somewhere) Cheers...

Good morning the snow has all gone now, there's still one or two places that has a bit of snow left, and it's bloody cold out there this morning, but that apart, the snow has gone.
We'll be changing the clocks soon, not that we dress the clocks up, and have to put on different clothes, or anything like that, we have to put the clocks back or forward, I can never remember which, however there is one of those clever little ditty things to help you remember, and it goes like this. Spring back push forward, I don't think that's it. A clock in the hand is worth two in the bush, Nah, don't think so. Oh wait it's Spring up, Fall down, or something like that, but it doesn't matter, because the media will tell you what to do, they like doing that.
Our food is gonna get dearer, more expensive, and it's all down to Global Warming, & Climate Change, take your pick. Last years floods wrecked some crops, and grain or something, so there's less crop stuff on the market to sell, therefore it goes up in price. I'm not explaining this very well, but I know what I mean, which is all that matters really. I think that if there is a food stuff shortage, you know the stuff that goes to make bread & other foodstuffs, well they should put McDonalds & Burger King, to the back of the queue for the foodstuffs, because these bastards will just buy it all, and will be the only places to get food, and although there will be a foodstuff shortage ( Oh BTW, foodstuff is a technical term, I'm not gonna explain it here, but I may one day) we'll all be big fat bastards, because we all have to go McBurger DonaldKing to get foodstuff.
We've got two supermarkets in Stornoway, the Co-op, and Somerfields ( although this supermarket changes its name on a regular basis, so by the time you read this it may be trading under a new name) now the Co-op decided that all its eggs would be free-range eggs, which is a very noble gesture, but the price of half a dozen eggs has doubled. So Bacon'n'eggs is off the breakfast menu in this house just now. The Co-op says that it's doing this, because it cares about the suffering of the animals. Yeah well, and they won't sell stuff that is unethical, whatever that means? Maybe they won't sell stuff that is bad for our health, maybe they'll decide what we should eat? Maybe they'll stop selling booze, fags ( that's cigarettes, just in case you're American, you can't buy peoples of the homosexual variety in the supermarket, well not in ours anyway, although now that I think about it, there's a gap in the market there, maybe someone can fill it in, and NO, not like that, you dirty, dirty minded person that you are) crisps, and all that stuff, but if they do, the store will have a lot of empty shelves.
So I just wanna say that we should have a choice, and supermarkets if they wanna make a stand, that's fine, but don't double the fucking prices, you bunch of money grabbing bastards. Well I feel better now. Cheery...

It's been snowing, and there's the proof. You can click on pix for a larger image ( thanx AL) Gotta go get the snow off the car. Cheers..

Good morning, it's a rather chilly one here this morning. I went to put some old newspapers in our Green Recycling Bin, and the lid was frozen to the bin, solid it was. Weather eh, what can you do about it? Well maybe, just maybe, I have the answer. What is the answer? I hear you cry ( I don't really hear you cry, and you're, more than likely, not crying either, unless you're depressed, then maybe you are crying, and if you are depressed, then just think that it can only get better from now on, and that might cheer you up, and I'd skip this blog, you know, go on to another blog, this weblog posting is unlikely to help get you undepressed, in fact it may even make you more depressed, so if you're a bit depressed emm, I forgot what I was gonna put in next, oh well it happens, no good crying about it though) The answer to all the Climate Global Warming Change ( I was gonna do a blog about climate change and global warming, a debating blog, with climate change versus global warming, Who Is To Blame?? But I forgot, so that's then) is to plant trees, lots and lots of trees, or plant plants, in the ground like, not in a pot thing, that's cruelty to plants.
I remember, many years ago, I do sometimes remember things, usually when I'm sitting on the pan, but emm, oh yeah, nearly forgot there, Prince Charles was laughed at, and people thought he was nuts, off his rocker, a nutter, a looney, mad, ( I think you get the picture now?) because he said that talking to plants helps them to grow, but he was proved correct in this, although it's our breath that helps make them grow, they like the CO2 that we breathe out ( I'm not overly confident on the science of this, because, although I know everything, it's not one of my specialist subjects, and I was off school that day, so the CO2 business may be a load of shite?) helps the plants to grow, so Charlie wasn't mad then, well not about that, he may still be a nutter ( Diana-Camilla? If you were in bed with them both, would you climb over Diana to get to Camilla?) for all I know. However the point is that trees can soak up a lot of water ( last years floods? If there were lots of trees, they would have soaked up most of the water) and they can take some of the CO2 out of the air, before it reaches the ozone layer and makes a hole in it.
Saving the world is not easy, but I feel that I should to my bit, and I hope that you have learned from this. If you live near a river, get the local council to plant trees along the banks of the river.
Oh well all this saving the planet is tiring, so I'd just like to thank you for reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. You have learned how to save the planet today, so go out there and save it people. Cheers...

Omce a day
All my troubles did get shagged away
But I can't perform at all today
Oh how I wish for Once A Day

La La La , Di  Dee Di Dee Di, Once A Day
Oh how I dream of Once A Day
I remember Once A Day
It seems just like Yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!1