Is this my real life
Virtual reality
Call it a Blog Site
An escape from Insanity
Tell me your lies
Have you got pork pies, for me
I'm not a fat boy, close to obesity
I've got a windy bum, don't you know
On the fly, I'll let one go
Beware when my arse blows,
It's a great big relief for me
For me

Mama, can't get a pan
The shop has got no brown bread
But I bought some rolls instead
Mama, I'll just have the one
No cheese or I'll just throw it all away
Mama boo-hoo-boo-hoo
You're so mean to make me cry
I'm gonna pack my bags, and be gone tomorrow
Cheerio, cheerio, I'm gonna make it on my own

It's late, the time has come
My liver's doing fine
The barman's just shouted time
So long you're my buddy,I've got to go
Gotta go and do a poo, cos it's touching cloth
Mama oooohh, ooh, ( watch the way my poo goes)
I just wanna cry
I now see that there's no loo roll in this stall

I see a little cat out walking with a man
Shut yer mush, shut yer mush,
Bellydance the fandango
Underpaid and tight lipped
very very tight lipped me
Am I gay, (no,) Am I gay (NO)
Am I Gay(No, gotta go)

I'm just a dour boy,
will somebody huv me
I'm just a wee boy, from a big family
Spare me a bit of your burnt sausages
Easy now, I'll just go,
gonna let me know
Wheeshed wee man, I will not let you know
Let me Know
Wheeshed wee man , I will not let you know
Will not let me know- Let me Know
Will not let ye know- Can I go
No no no no no no
Sam'n'Tina, Sam'n'Tina, Sam'n'Tina,
Let me know
The water-proofs are not quite the right size
for me, for meeeeee

So you think you can save me,
go ahead and try
Oh you think you can hurt me,
You won't make me cry.
Oh gravy,
All the men like their gravy
You don't have to shout
I'll go out
Once I've drunk my beer

Does anything matter
Can you really see
One thing only matters
one thing only matters to me

Watch the way my wind blows.............